Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Why You Have Few Friends

Image source from HERE

No man is an island, that is the reality. However, for some people, it is not the quantity of the friends that they have which is important. What they focus on mainly is the quality of the relationship that they have with these people in their lives. 

So, why is it that some people seem to more picky when it comes to making friends? Is it because they are too intelligent or is it because of some other things? Here are a few reasons that we can reflect on when it comes to asking ourselves why our circle is smaller compared to others.

1. You say what's on your mind and you don't care much for fake small talk and conversations.

You don't conform to what and how others think. You form your own views and opinions about things, life, and other topics that interest you. You get contented in doing your own thing without any fear of missing out on the latest gossip or trend. 

2. You can easily spot bullshit and lies  

You avoid those who project fakery and a fake persona like they are afflicted with the plague. Also, you try not to get mixed up in all the drama associated with and to these fake personas.

3. You have no need to call attention to yourself in order to prove who you are

You know the kind of person that you are. You don't need to waste time explaining yourself to those who can't seem to get you. However, you mix easily with those who don't need any explanations, yet, in their own way, understand who you are. You prefer them because they don't get put off by your strong personality or presence because they too are secured with who they are. You also like to be with people who have goals and visions. These are the kind who would help you grow as an individual and whom you would help to grow and discover things as well.

4. You have finally come to recognize who your real friends are

These people may be only a handful, but these are the very same who has never and would never leave your side. They stand with you, support your decisions, and call you out if there's a real need to do so. The only new persons you would entertain would be those who show the same amount of respect that you accord to others and who deserve the same respect to be accorded to them.

5. You may be keeping to yourself a lot, talk less and listen more frequently

For these reasons, others may avoid being around you because though you don't speak a lot, you tend to observe what's going on, speak facts which others may not like nor accept. 

Having a few friends doesn't mean you're a genius or socially awkward. Sometimes, it just plainly states that you know how to choose the people whom you would trust and respect. You know your worth and you also recognize that you can bring more than cheap conversations to the table. However, when you find real friends, you don't hold back on supporting and encouraging them to shine. 

So, does it still bother you that you only have a very few trusted individuals that you keep in your circle? I hope not, because these are the people who would not leave you in your time of need. They understand you and have accepted you for who and what you are. 

Monday, March 13, 2017

Strung Along: How to tell if you are

Image Source Here

Don't be naive to think that only guys know how to lead women along. In reality, women can be far crueler when it comes to stringing men along. It happens to the best of people, don't worry about it. Some are just way to good at playing the game that it makes it difficult for you to tell whether she's really into you or she's just keeping your hopes up and making sure that she's got you in her back pocket whenever she needs someone to be at her beck and call.

How can you tell if she's just taking you out for a ride? Here are some tell-tale signs that you might be wrapped around her little finger.

1. She's playing the "Hard-To-Get" card really well. Okay, some women just really want to get to know the person courting her that's why she ain't gonna jump into a relationship with you the moment you profess your love for her. She will ask you to be patient with her and give her time to think things through. However, no matter what you do, she will never give you the one thing that you are asking for - COMMITMENT.

2. You can't make plans with her. You talk for hours on end, send text messages, e-mails and "communicate" on regular basis. However, once you mention any plans about going out or seeing each other, she will find ways and reasons to say no, or just plain tell you that she would need a "rain-check."

3. The conversations that you have seems to be superficial. Oh yes, she'll definitely tell you how her day went, how she feels for the day, her favorite stuff, food, drink, whether she's hungry, sad, sleepy, and some other emotions that you're not sure even exist. However, it does not extend beyond that. She wouldn't let you in on what her life really is. Do you know things about her childhood? Okay, may be not that far back just yet. But, do you know anything about her that extends outside of the ordinary things that could happen to anyone on a daily basis? Do you get the feeling that she doesn't want you to get to know her on an intimate level?

4. You don't feel any sense of security. Simply put, you don't know where to place yourself. She's sweet with you, she sends you messages that seem to be reserved for those who are in a relationship, yet, she'll call you a friend, especially when out in public.

5. She flirts, A LOT! You think you have something special going on between the two of you. You may even be sharing some meaningful, soulful, and even probably writing your stories in songs. However, she also shows the same towards her other male "friends."

6. Attention, she revels in it. She thrives in an environment where she is the center of attention, when gravity seems to be holding the attention of several men and keeping it close to her. If and when you start to wane, she will try to rope you in either by showing you affection or talking nasty about others. BUT, once you go back, she'll once again be the social butterfly, reveling in the attention of her other adoring fans.

These are just some of the things that you should watch out for when you think you're having a "connection" with a woman. Remember, there are so many other fishes in the ocean, you don't have to limit yourself to just one because you think that she's just really a catch. Interact with other people, expand your social network, go out, have fun! If you think that you're being taken out for a spin, you have the power to make it stop. Step on the freaking breaks and get out. Not cutting the strings will just make you feel so much worse. You too deserve better. 

Saturday, March 4, 2017

How Much Do Other People's Opinions of You Matter To You?

Image Credits Here

There are times that we feel that we have to say our piece, to voice out our opinions not just about situations but of others as well. However, there are also times that we fail to understand that while doing so, there will be people who have opinions and thoughts about us as well. 

People talk, that's only but natural. The one thing that we have to ask ourselves is how much do these opinions matter and why they affect us so much.

1. Do these opinions affect you? Human beings talk about stuff that catches their fancy either for good or bad reasons. It's only but natural that people talk about the things that they like and dislike, this includes discussion about other people. The question is, do you let those opinions get to you? Do you feel like you have to explain yourself? Remember this: YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERYBODY. Once you accept this, the lesser the impact these opinions will have on you.

2. Do you define your self worth based on what others say about you? In this day and age of social media and the internet, do you equate your sense of self based on how many likes your posts on Facebook gets? How many likes do your pictures have on Instagram? How many followers do you have? 

3. Do you try to be someone else? Do you pattern your likes and dislikes based on what's popular in your network of friends in order to be accepted by a clique? The sad thing here is that, well as cliche as it sounds, "what works for others may not be the best for you." Forging an identity based on what's popular just robs you of the chance to be yourself. It takes away that uniqueness that only you can offer. Yes, you may share some similarities with other people, but you have your own quirks, your own ways that leave things that you do with your own personal, one-of-a-kind stamp.

4. Do you have difficulties in making decisions for yourself without consulting others? This may be evidenced by the fact that you are losing trust in your own instincts, in your own abilities to make the right decisions for yourself. It's way different from being considerate of other people's feelings and how your decisions may affect them. If you become indecisive and often find yourself wanting or needing another person's input, it is best that you re-evaluate yourself. Ask yourself, am I making the decision based on what I think is right, on what is morally acceptable (based on my morals) and is it socially correct (meaning will it not be illegal, will you be jailed, etc). Remember that only you can make a decision about your life, you don't need others to tell what you to do. In the end, you can only point an accusing finger at them, however, it is you who will need to face the consequences of your actions.

5. Do you think that everything a person or a group of people say is all about you? News Flash! The world rotates on its axis 24 hours a day and travels on its orbit 365 days a year around the SUN not YOU. Hard to say it, but it's true - the WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU. It won't stop spinning just because you feel blue or it won't freeze on its axis just because you think that everyone else has their eyes laser focused on you.

So before you post another status saying anything about people whispering behind your back, better think again. Someone who truly doesn't give a fucking shit about what other people think will not even bother reacting to what they hear, see, and read. However, once you react even just the tiniest bit, then it means that you are affected and that other people's opinions of you matter that much in order for you to waste enough time to even say something stupid about it.
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