Monday, February 20, 2017

The Attention Seeker: Look At ME!

Image Source: HERE

What do these attention seekers really want and how do they get it?


A person who feels the need to have all eyes on them, via online message boards. An Attention Whore will write things about how their health or families health are in peril (ex. "Gangrene of a hangnail. Staph from paper cut" etc) in an attempt for sympathy.

Certain people bitch about every thing in their life. Always looking for pity around every corner. Having every ailment under the sun. Their ADHD, bi-polar, hormonal imbalances, and depression. There near fatal cat scratches that almost sever a limb ( not really sever, more like a really bad paper cut) their poor marriages, infidelities, addiction to drugs and alcohol, the fact that they suck at their jobs but need to blame their boss, co-worker, neighbor, cat, etc. for all their problems in life. You know the ones. We all post " awwe that's terrible" , or " OMG how horrible", and " keep your chin up, it will get better soon".
How would you know that the person that you're currently comforting is just someone asking for more attention in every possible way s/he can?

1. The person goes all out blatant. Instead of having a username that suggests of an alter-ego, a person seeking attention would just be forthright about their prowess in bed. You'll see usernames that go something like "@thebestlayintheworld" or "8inD!ck." Now, they aren't really being subtle, are they?

2. The person likes having pity-parties. S/He is just the saddest, most sick, laziest shit ass person in the entire planet. These people like posting either cryptic messages that would elicit response from other people or they would just keep saying things like "I'm feeling tired and lazy today" or "I can't decide." Simply put, these people would say or write down anything that would encourage other people to respond to their predicament. If no one says anything, they would definitely follow it up with something more dramatic. Most of the time, when it's a woman doing this, she will often flaunt her problems to the world - especially to men.  

3. If the first two don't work, this person would be the nicest one in the entire room. You'd notice that a person who falls under this category would be exceptionally nice to everyone. Putting his/her best foot forward in a way that would make you want to give him/her your wholehearted attention. She will get comfortable with you at lightning speeds. She'll normally present herself as someone who doesn't open up at once, but will make you feel that you are the only one who can relate to her, just because she opens up to you. Don't worry, it's a common manipulation technique, especially since most attention seekers can be quite charming and pretty in their own special way. 

4. It's not working still, then this person would be very temperamental and moody in their dealings with you. This person has a switch that s/he can flip on off in an instant. Nice at one end and mean in a snap of a finger. 

5. The next sign that you should be looking out for would be childishness. You'll  know this, as you would notice it that an attention seeker would most like exhibit characteristics that reeks of immaturity. She might go on saying that she is indecisive about a certain matter which would then compel you to ask her about it, give her your opinion, and even offer to help her resolve the situation. 

6. Another tell-tale sign of an attention seeker is someone who calls everyone a "best friend or a very good friend (something to those effect)." This would be evidenced by the fact that many men flock to her. These followers would feel like they have a "romantic connection" with her before finally realizing that they were just led on by this charming and manipulative person.

If you see these signs in a person that you're dealing with online or in real life, the best way to go about this is to try and avoid the attention seeker as much as possible. Put some distance between the two of you. You don't want to be sucked into something that would eventually drain you of energy both emotionally and physically. Look for real interactions and conversations that you would enjoy having because it is not a one way street, rather a meaningful one that would help you grow as a person.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Damsel in Distress Syndrome

Photo Credits HERE

According to Urban Dictionary, a damsel in distress is defined as:

Damsel syndrome is a common affliction amongst women, particularly those who grew up watching Disney movies or reading fairy tales. Damsel syndrome is thought to be caused by women's desire to be "traditionally" feminine in the interest of attracting a partner, though in serious cases Damsel Syndrome can lead to becoming an annoying, needy, self-victimizing, dumb bitch.


A female with Damsel Syndrome will often play off a partner's willingness to be the "white knight" to her "damsel in distress" by consistently becoming more and more demanding. If denied their way, people with serious cases of DS often resort to emotional manipulation or crying.

Before I go on any further, I would like to say that I am in no way attacking any gender in posting this observation. It is just something that I have noticed and would like to share in my space on the interwebs. 

How can you tell then if the person that you are attracted to has the so-called "Damsel in Distress" syndrome? Look for some of these signs and then decide if you still want to spend more time with her.

1. Her life is just SAD. Ask her how her day went and you might hear: "It was good, BUT..." And the next words that come out tumbling would be, "I feel sad because of..." or "I don't have the energy to do..." It seems like she has an endless list of the things that are wrong within her day. Why is she doing this? Because she needs you to comfort her all the time. 

2. While you feel good helping her, there will come a point that you might notice that she's relying on you just a little bit more. She can make herself appear undecided, unable to move further in the day without you pushing her a bit or lifting her spirits up. Just a tip, she may be more than capable of making decisions and handling things on her own. She's only pretending to be indecisive to gain more of your attention and your time.

3. She sucks out your energy. At first, saving her and being the knight in shining armour can be very appealing, however, as things and time pass you will notice that she siphons off your energy due to her constant need for assurance.

Just like any other people there who need "help" there's just no use trying to save this damsel, if she doesn't want to be saved, especially if she may have equated this false sense of "being rescued" to the feelings of love, being needed, and belonging.

Guys, you should well remember that no matter how well armed and armoured you think you are to help this girl, a time will come that a chink will form, which will eventually lead to cracks that may shatter your shell to pieces. When that happens, you might end up as the one who needs real saving. 

Friday, February 10, 2017

Valentine's Fuzz

Image Credits HERE

Let me start with this:

Define the word: ASSUMING

(from my personal sarcastic dictionary)
~It is defined as the person who thinks that those who choose not to celebrate this over-hyped, overrated occasion called Valentine's Day are: single, dateless, and/or bitter. 

Not to burst anyone's judgmental attitude and opinion. I ask this question: Do we all have to celebrate the day? I mean, my personal equation for it goes something like: Valentines Day = Traffic + Difficult to reserve in restaurants or Long waiting list for a table + Overpriced flowers, chocolates, and other gift items/2. Yes, I am unwilling to submit myself to the trouble of planning that one single day.

I am not anti-love or anti-valentine for that matter. I'm quite exactly the opposite. I'm all for celebrating love, though I prefer to do it differently.

I do not jump onto the "love" bandwagon because I have this belief that love shouldn't be shown only on one day. A day that is so commercial that it has lost its romanticized meaning. If you're married or are dating someone, I think you should give special treatment your spouse/partner not on a common day, but rather celebrate it more during your anniversary; a day that holds special meaning for both of you. If you're single and spend this love day with family, why wait for February to show how much you love them? Why not surprise them with a family day out and show them how much you appreciate them? 

If you truly love those who are around you, you don't have to wait for one single day out of the 365 days that a year has in order to make them see that they are special. Make EVERY.SINGLE.DAY count. It may sound morbid to some, but this is reality: We don't know when we are going to die, everyday that we are alive and breathing is a blessing. Don't wait for Valentine's Day to give flowers to your wife, girlfriend, mom, sister, or those special to you. You don't know if they will still be there for the next heart's day. Treat them right ALL THE TIME. Make them FEEL LOVED every time you're with them. Don't wait for a day that you'll regret that you waited for Valentine's Day so that you can give them a box of their favorite chocolate. For that matter, don't wait for any special occasion at all. Make every day Valentine's and celebrate the love that you have for those who are important to you 365 days a year. Nope, there's no need for expensive gifts, because the one special gift that everyone truly appreciates and deserves is TIME. Spend time with your loved ones. LISTEN.TALK.COMMUNICATE.RESPECT. These gifts are free to give and you always have them in your hands.

Happy (everyday) Valentine's Day!

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

No to Body Shaming

I have been hiding behind all the flab for who knows how long. Today, I would like to post this to say enough is enough.

For those who can see and read this, you can roast me all you like; make fun of me to your hearts' content. I don't care. 

Today, I say no to body shaming. I am doing my best not to slim down and get that perfect socially acceptable body. I am doing my best not for society to accept me, but to take care of my health; be accountable and lessen the risks that being overweight brings.

I have one very long nasty scar. I used to be ashamed of it. But to that, I say no more today. I realize that the scar left by my right salpingo-oophorectomy is a reminder that I've been through hell and back. I've conquered a health risk and now I am here to say that I was probably given another chance to life because I have something meaningful to do. That scar is my personal "battle wound" something that no one has the right to shame me for. I take the power from those who want to make me feel bad about the reminders of that ordeal. I claim the victory. And no one, NOT.ONE.SINGLE.PERSON can tell me that I should hide it and be ashamed of it because it is not aesthetically pleasing. All I have to say, to those, if it hadn't been for the doctors who treated me, the surgery that left that scar, I wouldn't be here writing all these thoughts down. I wouldn't be here living my life.

To those who feel like you need to change your body so that you can be pleasing to the eyes of those around you, I say, wake up. YOU.ARE.UNIQUELY.BEAUTIFUL. No one can make you feel bad about yourself if you don't let them do it. 

Be strong! Stand up! Love yourself. Accept your body. But, don't be afraid to make yourself better for your own good. 

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Diet and Discipline

Almost 4 years ago, I started a road to wellness.

Here's how I used to look like:


This photo was taken October 2013, almost 4 years ago.

I admit, there were times that I was derailed from my goal. I never got to reach my ideal weight of 135lbs.

It was difficult. It was definitely challenging.










Here I am now, 3 and a half years after this photo was taken:

February 01, 2017
Current weight: 150lbs

Target/Ideal weight: 135lbs

I still have a long way to go. I'm giving myself until before my birthday to lose at least 10 more pounds. Let's see if I can make it.



This time, I have to be more determined than ever. Exercise more discipline. And NO to FAD DIETS. I'm all for eating healthier options. Though, I do have cheat days every now and then.



Brightest Blessings!

Halie
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