Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Men to Avoid

Photo Credits Here

I previously wrote a piece giving real men some tips regarding the kind of women they should try not to associate themselves with. In the spirit of fairness, of course, I decided to write some pointers for women on what kind of men you shouldn't be wasting your time on. 

Of course dating does not necessarily equate that you bring this guy home to mom so that he can ask your hand for marriage kinda thing. But, it's okay to look for these red flags that could be good indicators that this person is just a waste of effort to even try and get to know.

1. The Alcohol is my Best Mate Guy

One of the best indicators that there could be some issues when it comes to alcohol is when you see the guy drunk most if not all than time. This is the type of man who can't seem to face the issues that life has thrown at him when he's sober. Instead of having the proverbial balls to meet things with a clear mind, he much rather prefer to grab a bottle and pass out after. It would be difficult to get to know the person since he is hiding behind the bottle most of the time. 

Another type of guy who you have to stay away from would be the Split Personality When I'm Drunk kinda person. The difference between the first type and this person is that, this man does have times when he is sober. More often than not, he also has a very charming personality when he's not drunk, coupled with a guy-next-door smile. However, when alcohol gets in his system, he starts acting like the biggest JERK you've ever seen and met in your entire life. 

2. The Psych You Up Guy

First up under this type would be those who seem to like Exercising Control over your emotions and other things. You would notice that this guy likes to make you feel bad over anything and everything. Oftentimes, he doesn't have anything nice to say to you, instead he criticizes you for the smallest of things like your clothes, hair, or even just the pair of shoes you decided to wear to work. If you meet someone who seems like he doesn't have anything nice to say, I suggest RUN FOR THE HILLS and fast!

The sweet talker. Oh, this guy knows just what to say, when to say, and how to say things. And you may have fallen flat on your face for this guy even before you realize that he's still in a relationship but has "cooled-off" with another girl. Should you discover this, drop the guy. He's not worth it. Because most probably, he'll do the same exact thing to you when he finds another woman who would take him in. 

3. The Me, Myself, and I Guy

These are those who can't seem to stop spewing things about themselves during a date. Okay, it's not bad to talk about one's self, I mean, that's how you get to know a person, right? But, once it goes OVERBOARD, meaning, the guy does not even ask a single question about you the entire evening or does not even show interest in what you have to say, it's time to get up and leave. Why? Because this guy would not be able to be a good partner to you. It's going to be a one way street. 

4. Ambition Driven

The first kind is the man who does not have any at all. The man who doesn't seem to have any direction , does not know where to go, and how to get there. If he can't seem to take of himself, nor do something to improve his well-being, what makes you think that he can take care of you? Should you be unlucky to meet this kind of man, I suggest that you go out and look for someone.

Of course, we go to the other side of the curve to those guys who have NOTHING ELSE BUT AMBITION. We're talking about those who don't have any space in their lives for things outside of meetings, office, meetings, and more meetings. Balance is the key here. The man should know how to prioritize more important things. 

There are other things that would send red-flags and shivers down your spine. As a woman, it's good to have good intuition and knowing when to trust your gut. If you think that the man who's trying to get into your life is going to be a problem, take off your heels and run barefoot away from him. Maybe, just maybe, you just saved yourself from a man who just wants to get a finger on your zipper for a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am evening, and does not want a long lasting committed relationship.

Friday, January 27, 2017

Avoid These Women At All Costs!

Photo Credits Here



You're an attractive and single gentleman looking to date a woman and probably hoping to have a lasting relationship with her. Remember that if you see your worth as a person, you'd know that you should be going out with women who could help you be a better version of yourself and not make you feel as if you're the crappiest man alive. 

Here are some of the kinds of women who you should avoid dating at all costs no matter how attractive she may be to you.

1. The Social-Media-Is-My-Life kinda girl.


No, not those type of ladies who use their social media accounts to read the news, share and learn about their craft, or in plain English, those who know how to use these tools properly. I'm talking about those who HOG ATTENTION.

These are the women who have nothing to say but, "I'm feeling down, I need a hug today" or how about those who post IRRITATING SELFIES. These are the women who post their faces on Facebook more than a dozen times a day with captions ranging from "I woke up like this" (like what the fudge, right? Even some supermodels have admitted the fact that they don't wake up all dolled up) to "I'm sick. I wish someone can just take care of me." Most of these posts are attention seeking in nature. And it doesn't do well for a healthy individual to get mixed up with someone who has the self-esteem of a mushroom.

And don't forget those who have their phones glued to their hands all the time. Try to avoid dating women who would rather take photos of your food, post it on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc and ask you to like it, all the while you're together. You may want to date someone who can actually hold a conversation with you without having to hit the LIKE and COMMENT buttons on her phone.

2. The DRAMA QUEENS

It's quite easy to spot these types of women. Just look for the following signs and symptoms:

Poor Me. This woman is the type who seems to have all the bad luck in the world. Ask them how their day is going and they'll say: "I'm feeling blue" or "I'm so broken" or "I don't know what to do." Let me tell you, these type of women will eek out every bit of happiness that you have during the day. Emotionally, you'll feel drained as if your life and energy have been suck out of you every single time that you talk.

Women who SOW HATE to start drama. If you don't notice her, she'll be doing everything and anything in her power to make you look back at her. She'll be the one bashing others just to make herself look good in your eyes.

And don't forget those who are INSECURE from the top of their heads to the tip of their toes. These are the women who seem to find something wrong with themselves and are never contented with what they have.

3. The DEPENDENTS

You just met her and now you can't shake her off. She's so CLINGY that you feel like you've got poop stuck on the sole of your shoes which you can't seem to get out. These are the women who would make you feel that she needs you because she doesn't want to be left alone feeling single and unwanted.

How about those who are so JEALOUS of others that you can't seem to have a social life? Guys, if you just started dating this type of woman, I suggest that you slowly move away and then run, RUN FAST and FAR. You need to grow as a person and part of growing into a well rounded individual is interacting with all sorts of people, regardless of gender, shape, and size.

Another great example of this type would be the woman who can't TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for anything. If you think you met someone who can't get her act and life together without you fixing things for her, it's high time that you open the door and hightail it out of her life.

4. The Girl Who Needs to Have It All

First of this kind would be the obvious gold diggers. Buy me this, buy me that. Those who seem to care more about the kind of car that you drive and how many credit cards are in your wallet. If she wants a lavish lifestyle, then she should be able to provide for her own. She doesn't need to ask a man to shoulder any or all of her expenses.

Then there are those who seem to have never outgrown their childhood. These are those who don't necessarily throw tantrums, but they do seem to do anything and everything to get what they want. That INCLUDES EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL. A great example would be those who like to make people around them feel guilty that they didn't get what they want. And don't forget, some women who are into blackmailing may even threaten you with committing suicide or inflicting harm upon themselves. If you think you've met one and have actually been threatened by one, do the next best thing and contact a professional who can help the person.

We can't seem to shake this one point off - ATTENTION. If the girl that you like seems to know ALL the MEN in the room, better think twice.  Oh, I'm not talking about the woman who seems to know the right people to establish connections for professional purposes. I'm talking about the woman who gives off the a certain vibe that when she walks into the bar, men look at her differently because she revels in the attention being given to her.

5. Don't forget the FAKERS

One sure sign is when the woman keeps lying to you about ANYTHING. There's just no reason for you to put up with any crap that a woman throws at you, except of course when your self esteem is so low that you deserve all the shit being given to you.

A woman who DOESN'T HAVE A SENSE OF SELF. This woman seems to adopt and copy other people's attitude, habits, their ways, manners, and just about everything. A woman who does this is like a quilt made up of different bits and pieces of other people's lives. If she doesn't have a clue of who she is, then what does she have to offer to you? A fake identity? Someone who collected personality traits from others so that she present herself to be acceptable in the eyes of others?

You know who you are. You know what you have to offer. If you value yourself, then make sure that you go out with someone who deserves everything that you have to offer. And in return would make you feel that you can discover more of the world together. That you would grow together as a couple and as better individuals.

If after a few dates, she shows some signs of being the psycho bitch that you need to avoid, drop her and run away towards the other direction. 

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Social Media

Photo Credit Here

What is this thing that we call social media, really?

Honestly, I don't know. The only thing I am aware of is that many of us use it to connect with people for different reasons, different purposes.

I personally use the following avenues:

Facebook, I like it because I was able to connect with friends whom I haven't seen for ages. Elementary and High School friends who I thought I would never see again. I use it to communicate with immediate family and other relatives living far away. Truly, it is a bridge that connects me to those whom I love.

I have Twitter that I rarely use. However, if I want fast access to news, that's where I go. 

Then there's this blog which I share over at Google+. This is where I share thoughts about things, life, stuff, and others. I also have blogs where I post things about food, restaurant reviews and recipes. Some things that I think are worth sharing to people who might be interested in it.

Lastly, I also have my IG accounts. Yes, I have two. One of them is for my hobby black and white and other forms of photography. Also, my way to connect with people who have the same interest as mine. The other IG account is solely for toy photography. I only follow those who are focused on this genre of photography. I am learning a lot from it.

You might be saying, yes, we know that already. So, what's new or what's your point?

Recently, I encountered someone on a discussion board that I'm a member of who kept asking me that I give him my Facebook account. I was steadfast in saying no. I told him that I do not let strangers have some access to something so personal as an FB page. Seems like this person cannot understand the reason as to why I limit those who can send me friend requests.

Here are some of the reasons:

1. I don't want any random stranger have a glimpse of my life, no matter how minute the detail may be. I just am not comfortable with that.

2. Not only am I protecting myself, I'm also trying to keep certain information that my friends share a little more private. Okay, it's on the internet, but at least having the decency to control who sees their information from my end just means that I value them. 

3. I'm not networking for business purposes, yet. Should I decide to do so, then I will open a separate and exclusive FB page, IG account and the likes for it. Separating business and personal things for me does not just make managing them easier. It also helps me to keep certain things away from prying eyes. 

What's the point again?

You have control over who you let into your social media pages. You have the power over those who can send you invites. Don't be afraid to use them; to exercise control over your online life.

If you feel like someone's being too aggressive in asking you to have them take a look into your lives, I suggest, don't give them a copy of the key. Block them or give them a dummy account if you have any.

Exercise caution in what you post. Some things are best kept private.

Makes sense, yes?

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Humpty Dumpty

Photo Credits Here

I know that everyone can love and deserves to be loved back. There's really no greater feeling than knowing someone accepts you for who and what you are. 

However, there are those who claim to be broken and say that they are shattered to bits.

Here are some things that I would like to share with these people.

When you feel that you're broken, DO NOT: 

1. Rely on others to help you up so that you can pick up the shattered pieces of your life and start putting them back together.

2. Use the emotions of another person as a glue to keep the pieces in place and hold you together. It's not going to work. What will happen to you if that person goes away? You'll only be left with MUCH MORE shattered pieces - shards.

3. Ask others to clean up your mess and pick up the shards. It's not fair to that person. It can hurt them. Injure them. Cut and tear them. And it can backfire on you as well, because it can TIRE that person out. If that happens before they pick up all the shards of your broken life, there's a possibility that you can't find some of the missing pieces of yourself because they took it with them when they left.

4. Use that person as a drug to numb the pain. You have got to face the pain.

5. Treat that person as a missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle that is called your life. That person should  NOT complete you. That person should enhance you. That person should be the frame to your life. 

I believe that you can't tell anyone that you love them completely if you are incomplete. How can you offer yourself wholly if you know or feel that you are not whole on your own. "I love you with my all my heart, my soul, my being BUT, I can only offer you a part of myself, the part that's here because there are certain things that are missing." It's like offering someone a whole cake with a bit of it missing because it got chewed out by something or someone. It's just plain stupid to say that.

It is just plain pathetic to depend your completeness and happiness on someone else. The reason: You cannot offer anything to anyone if you don't have it. If you don't have love for yourself, how can you feel love for others? Same thing with respect. 

In the end, if you keep depending on others for things that you can't find inside yourself, you're not unlike HUMPTY DUMPTY. You sat on the edge and fell off. And no matter what the king's horses and the king's men did, they all couldn't put HUMPTY DUMPTY together again. Translating this to relationships - no matter how many relationships you go through, these people will not be able to complete you and put you back together. 

How do you do it then? Go out on your own. Discover yourself. Pick up new pieces as you go through life. Complete the jigsaw puzzle that is you. And once you have all the pieces properly placed and glued firmly together, that's the time that you meet others and offer that one person your totality. 

Friday, January 20, 2017

Feeling Unloved and Unwanted

Photo Credits Here

I want to start by saying that I am not as beautiful as Ms. Pia Wurtzbach (2015 Miss Universe), as rich as Bill Gates or as brainy and intelligent as Einstein. I am simply, JUST ME. Which makes me wonder why is it that some may want to imitate or copy who I am. Weird! And it creeps me out big time.

Here's what's currently happening:

You oftentimes look for some things, different things that are associated to living one's daily life. The things that could inspire you...

...to write stories, poetry
...to create images by painting or capturing
...to connect with new and old people
...to learn, discover something new about the world

Then you...

...copy
...imitate

In the midst of trying to be that other person, you forget that behind the inspiration, the desire to be someone else, you have your CORE self. You have that unique spark that makes you special, a one of kind person.

In the process, you wrap yourself in a thick shroud, a blanket of haze that hides you behind the bits and pieces of the everyday life that you try so hard to shape and mold yourself into. That uniqueness then becomes so dim that it is almost at the point of non-existence. 

You clamor, you crave for attention, acceptance, recognition, admiration. Yet, you project something that it not truly yours. You become someone whom you think is acceptable to many. You run away from yourself.

At the end of the day, when you take off that mask, the face that you so desperately tried to borrow and steal from someone; when you let go of that uniqueness belonging to someone else that you try to tightly cling and hold on to, you get hit with the truth. You feel EMPTY, ALONE, UNLOVED, UNACCEPTED, UNNOTICED, UNADMIRED, A TOTAL STRANGER- AN UNKNOWN SOMEONE. 

Why do you feel this way? It's because you have been so BUSY trying to live the life of someone else. You take her fragrance, her liking of certain food, color, and other stuff as yours. You are PRETENDING to be someone whom you are NOT. You created an ILLUSION, you PRETENDED to exist. When in reality, you were nothing but a shadow of someone else.

You are nothing more than someone experiencing a CINDERELLA effect. That when midnight strikes, the princess vanishes and turns back into being a nobody with nothing but a pair of glass slippers left behind as a reminder of who she is.

My Question to YOU now: Who are you, REALLY?

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Sending Personal/Private Messages

Courtesy of Google Play
Something to Chew On:

In this day and age, who isn't familiar with the term Personal/Private Messaging? From online fora to Facebook, this function has been embedded to allow users to communicate personally and sparing the public from exchanges that are personal in nature. 

I'm a member of an online community and I have to say that I get my fair share of messages from other members. 

Personally, I open messages that have decent subject lines. Aside from being polite, sometimes, there's really a legitimate reason for one member to send another a message. This is true especially when you join hobby groups or community pages of the same interest.

Recently, I got a message from one member with a decent subject line from the previously mentioned online community. The subject line was decent, it said: "Can We Talk?" When I opened it, that was the time I got hit with a ton of bricks. The message contained nothing but two words: "About SEX." I was quite dumbfounded to be honest. All right, we're all adults, but can't you think of a better introduction before you ask a very stupid or lame question?

Because of this, I'm writing down these precautions to the PM Monsters:

1. Read the profile of the person whom you're trying to send the message to. It doesn't matter if it's via FB, Twitter, IG or any other platform available. It is best that you try and get to know the person first before initiating a conversation. 

2. No one, not even those who work in the "pleasure" industry would give any person the time of day if you're rude. Don't make it too obvious that you guys prefer to use the tiny head more than the one that houses this wonderful organ we all call the brain.

3. If you're using a laptop, desktop, or even a smartphone with a complete set of keys for the virtual keyboard, I suggest that you try to SPELL words PROPERLY. There are no limits to the number of characters that you can send via the messaging system. It's very difficult to understand non-standard abbreviations and short cuts. Really, please there's no reason to fall back on text speak/spell circa 2000. 

These are things that I can think of as of the moment. Maybe I'll try to add some more as days pass. Hmmm, maybe, this is something that can be a series...

...chew on this!

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Women, What We Want

Photo Credits to Miss Purple Heart

I can't believe it's been almost a year since I last posted something on this blog. Whew! Time does fly, doesn't it?

I got caught up with the happenings of life outside of this box called the computer and I wasn't able to write the next chapter to the first relationship tip I've posted eons ago. Listen up, err, read up guys, you might learn a thing or two.

Oh, we want those men with a nice bum, sculpted abs, with money to burn, someone who looks like Chris Hemsworth. Sheesh! I'm not describing the ideal guy, I'm describing a non-existent, figure of my imagination, in my dreams kind of man. Honestly, what women want from their men would be really simple.

HONESTY IN:

1. Appreciation. The ladies want to be appreciated for their efforts just as much as men do. A simple "thank you for cooking my favorite dish" to something like, "you look gorgeous" is more than enough. Just make sure that when you say things, YOU MEAN IT! Forget the lip service, it doesn't work and most women in general can actually smell the BS a mile away.

2. Show her some love by showing her that you're INTERESTED. And I mean, not just interested in what she's wearing or what she has under that horrible house dress that she's probably worn a million times. Show some interest in how her day went. She may have been through a lot of things in the day. 

RESPECT:

3. Her thoughts, her opinions, her views on matters. Listen to what she has to say. You DON'T NEED to AGREE with her ALL THE TIME. It's okay to have different opinions. If you think alike too much, then you probably would be able to survive without each other. Thinking differently from each other doesn't mean you don't respect each other. It just means that you have a healthy, thinking brain. This brings me to the next thought:

4. COMMUNICATE with each other. Yes, you don't have to agree, but it doesn't mean that you disagree with her by ignoring her. TALK IT OUT. But, let cooler heads prevail. If you think you're too angry or just have a strong opinion against what she has to say, give yourself some time to organize your thoughts. Once you've had the things that you want to say planned out, talk.

5. LOYALTY. Men, we know the age old excuse that men are polygamous by nature. However, you can choose to be monogamous and stay faithful to the one woman you promised to love.

SECURITY AND STRENGTH:

6. We want someone who has FINANCIAL independence. Not all women need millionaires. What we need is someone who can manage his finances quite well. Someone who knows how to prioritize his spending. It's easy, you men should just be able to compartmentalize your money. Spend on your hobby, just make sure you DON'T sacrifice the budget for the home, kids, etc. If you're single and are in a serious relationship with someone, make sure tou that you have saved enough for a future that you're planning together.

7. Make her feel secure, that you can protect her no matter what. I don't care if your woman is a black-belter in every possible martial art. She's still a lady and making her feel that you can defend her and that you won't run and hide under her skirts would be more than appreciated.

EMOTIONAL CONNECTION:

8. Show her that you care, that you love her, and that you understand her not just her needs, but her feelings as well.

PHYSICAL CONNECTION:

9. Appearance. No, you don't have to look like Chris Hemsworth because once she loves you, she'll see you as the most handsome man in the entire planet. Be neat, dress appropriately, and be hygienic.

10. And here's what you guys are waiting for - SEX! Of course women want men with whom they're compatible with in bed. In bed, be sure to communicate with each other. Know what she wants. And most importantly, explore each other's bodies to the extent that you're both comfortable with.

After all these, if you guys think that your woman is still asking for more, like buy me this and buy me that. If she still looks at others and entertains men as if she's still single, I guess you guys know what to do. Let the bitch go! It's time for you men to move on and look for someone who wouldn't treat you as her personal piggy bank. A woman who knows how to treat you properly. You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy.

Monday, January 16, 2017

A WTFH Moment Rant


oh yes,my attitude may be off-putting, a downright turn-off, or just plain intolerable to most, if not all people.

should i give a s@%t about it? answer, it's a f#&king big fat NO!

i won't be a sweet, naive, f#&king pretentious damsel in friggin distress for someone to like me. i won't pretend to be sweet just to be the apple of your eyes. damn! that's a lot and i mean A LOT of hard plastic work for me to do. so, i'm lazy - sue me. don't care.

don't like me? i don't give a rat's ass. you like me, thank you very much. you can't keep up with me? not my problem anymore. think my personality's too strong? well maybe, you can't handle me even if i came with a full set of instruction manual in all possible languages known to man. think i'm like this here hiding behind the anonymity? better ask those whom i've met and i consider friends, they might have something to say about it. think i'm a know-it-all pretending to be an intelligent bitch? you're entitled to your opinion; again your problem not mine may be we're not on the same intelligence scale. you could be smarter than me or may be i am than you. you don't like the grammar nazi in me? pitfalls of the job, it got ingrained in the system.

they say not everyone can be a what you see is what you get type of person.may be there's some truth to it. why? because there's this thing we call privacy which i do hold on quite dearly. 

after all of these rants, what am trying to say?

simple - i am NOT going to apologize for who i am, what i am. i will not sacrifice and bend things, values that i hold dear just to be acceptable in anyone's eyes, damn it! and for the lame thinkers who would say that i can't be here if i think am too moral or saintly as s@%t,i have one word for your kind - DEMOCRACY. it gives me certain freedoms including the right to join any fora i wish. and by the way,am not dreaming to be the next lorenzo ruiz or pedro calungsod so in no effing way am i saintly. oh and for those who might ask if am like this in person, well, YES! 

like what i keep saying, I'm eternally DARK and TWISTED. 

welcome to my realm,my thoughts, my haven,my heaven,my asylum.


Brightest Blessings!

Halie

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