Thursday, November 30, 2017

I'm Depressed!

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If there's one thing that's driving me crazy these days is this claim: I'M DEPRESSED! 

So many people these days are throwing around the word so often that we tend to forget its real meaning. DEPRESSION is not something to be trifled with. It's a serious illness. It's something that needs to be addressed because it does lead to FATALITIES.

The illness does have several warning signs that we should look out for. However, it doesn't mean that when one is experiencing mood swings or an intense feeling of grief, one is already classified as depressed. 

In order for one to understand the illness better, the person whom we suspect is experiencing this debilitating disease should be brought to a professional for further evaluation. Should the professional deem it to be such, then, there are steps that should be taken in order to address this issue. 

So, what am I trying to say here? Let's not throw the term around carelessly. Many are truly suffering because of it. If we keep labeling one as such, chances are, those who are really experiencing depression might be overlooked and be given clumsy advice that does not help. 

Let's be respectful and considerate. 

Brightest Blessings!

 Halie

Friday, November 24, 2017

Dear Diary

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It's just a really short post. 

There was a time when a lot of us knew the meaning of the word - PRIVACY. Those of us who kept diaries valued it so much that we kept these books of our triumphs, happiness, sadness, woes, and even heartbreaks in places that were difficult to find. We made sure that no one ever laid their hands on them without our permission. We kept those thoughts and emotions to ourselves, hiding them even from our own mothers, sisters, fathers, and all those whom we love and trust.

However, with the advent of the internet, social media, and other networking sites, many have chosen to forego this value. Many have chosen to write their most private thoughts and publish it for all the world to see. And at times, these people get more depressed and angry when no one reads what they've written. Weird, but true.

Brightest Blessings!

 Halie

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Stupid is as stupid gets



I have said this once, and I'll say it again.

I am unapologetically direct in all my dealings. I try to be as honest as possible, to a fault because I do seem to be tactless to some MANY.

Recently, I have posted something on a forum which got me the ire of a certain moderator. The reason: WE JUST POSTED SIMILAR THINGS! The only problem on my part, I only posted snippets of a conversation that I had. And the fuck! She got offended by it. I know it's crazy, it's shallow, and it should not be even worth a space on this blog. However, I felt like I needed a place where I can air my side. And since this is MINE, she shouldn't have any control over what I post or write here.

This is how stupid her point was and still is, by the way:



A student of mine said something funny which I couldn't very well share on social media, lest my boss reads it and I lose my job. So, Ms. Stupid decided that she felt like it was an attack on her.

Here's the deal - I FOUND IT FUNNY and I wanted to share something that's worth LOL'ing about. That's who I am. And I will NEVER EVER APOLOGIZE FOR BEING ME.

My question to you then, Ms. Stupid, Who the FUCK are YOU? You seem to think that everything I say is about you. You're like a fucking court of law, you know the line that cops always say when they arrest someone "WHATEVER YOU SAY CAN BE USED AGAINST YOU IN A COURT OF LAW."

If you can't take the heat, honey, get out of the fucking kitchen. Because, NOT EVERYTHING I write is about you. EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE. See, if I have a problem, I fucking address it. The only reason I'm not writing your name down here is I still know the MEANING OF RESPECT. But, since you'll take the things that I write there on the board as an attack against you, I'd rather place this out in the open. Don't be too PARANOID my dear. And I thought you claim yourself to be an EMPATH. So, how come you didn't sense that the post I made wasn't about you?

By the way, I posted your challenge on my personal FB page and here are some responses that I've gotten as to my enquiry.





As you can see, I did not remove my name, which means, I am so not scared of you, bitch! The only reason I took out the photo is because my hubby was with me and I don't want you to see him, so there. LOL! And of course, I have to protect the privacy of the people who answered me. So, dumb-ass bitch, you still gonna stand behind the "BRUNCH BREAKFAST" thing that you so pridefully challenged me with? There's your answer! 

Next time, before you even think that it's about you, THINK AGAIN! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU! Secondly, before issuing a challenge, DO YOUR OWN FUCKING RESEARCH FIRST!

Brightest Blessings!

 Halie

Friday, August 18, 2017

The Annoying Know-It-All

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It's been a while since I wrote something like this here. Before we go along with this write-up, let's first define what a Know-It-All is. This is the person who can be annoying as hell because this person presents their ideas, opinions, inputs, etc. as if they are knowledgeable about the subject when in reality, the reverse is true. 

How can we tell the difference between an expert and an insufferable know-it-all?


The author gave us the following tips:

1. An expert asks questions before jumping in to give you their opinions. The reason, they want to get more information so they can tailor-fit their answers to your specific needs. On the other hand, a know-it-all would just jump right in, even without knowing the entire story.

2. Those who have mastery tend to admire others who have mastered the same or a totally different skill set. They realize that there are others out there who may have more experience than them. The annoying KIA would see other experts as competition and threat. 

3. Experts will encourage you to ask around and learn more to make informed decisions, while for those with the attitude, it's more of it's their way or the highway.

4. Experts share their knowledge. A know-it-all does not have anything of value to share.

5. Lastly, an expert would give you long-term advice. The KIA is the total reverse, they will give you what you want to hear, regardless of the value or substance.

The next question you might be asking  yourself when you meet an irritating person would be, How do I deal with this jerk? Here are some of the things that worked for me over the past 2 decades or so:

1. Ignore them. The more I fueled the fire, the more annoying they became. The best thing that worked for me was to not pay any attention. I'd nod my head but what they say goes inside one ear and out the other.

2. Never argue with them. Let them speak their piece and try not to start an argument. 

3. Express your intent loud and clear. A know-it-all would probably have things to say about your choices, etc. When this happens, let that person know that you are aware of the things that you need and want. Should that person try to sway you to their side, don't hesitate to reiterate your statement. 

How about you, do you have any other tips on how to spot a know-it-all and how to deal with them? If you do, please share away in the comments section. Thanks!


Brightest Blessings!

Halie

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

F for Flexibility


Entry for ABC Wednesday and Wordless Wednesday

I used to exercise the conventional way - weight lifting, running, jogging. But, as I've gotten a wee bit older, I felt like I can't do all those rigorous stuff anymore. That's when I decided to try and improve myself by doing a bit of stretching, yoga style. Aside from making me a little more flexible and limber, it also helped me to calm my mind, improve my focus, and overall keep me in touch with my body. 

Now, I feel better and I think I can try to do those rigorous activities again.

Brightest Blessings!
 Halie

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

D for Dainty Doll

For WORDLESS WEDNESDAY and ABC WEDNESDAY

I started a new hobby last October 2016 - Toy Photography. One of the first dolls that I got for myself was this dainty little sweetheart! She's a prized catch dazzled me with her smile. :)

Brightest Blessings!

 Halie

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

C for Collection

Entry for WORDLESS WEDNESDAY and ABC WEDNESDAY

I have been enjoying photography as a hobby for 8 or 9 years now. In those years, I have chosen to focus mainly on Food and Street Photography. Last year, around October, someone introduced me to another genre of the hobby - Toy Photography. 

I first dabbled in it using teddy bears, which I did find cute that time. As I enjoyed it further, I was compelled to buy new toys from different lines. My hubby gave me my first charming set of Pinypon Toys from Famosa which focused heavily on fairy tale characters and other more everyday figures. Then, I got into buying almost anything that caught my fancy. Now, my eyes are set on buying Funko Pop Vinyl Figures (of which I currently own 5 characters from different lines - 3 from Batman the Animated Series, 1 Snoopy and Woodstock, and a friend of mine gave me Stitch from Disney). I am planning to buy Lilo and afterwards, Scooby and Shaggy. Ah, my toy collection is growing and I don't see an end to it in the near future. 

Brightest Blessings!

 Halie

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Zone Out

Entry for ABC WEDNESDAY and WORDLESS WEDNESDAY


Zone out means to lose concentration. So, what made that elf zone out while walking with her friend?

Brightest Blessings!

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Monday, July 3, 2017

Macro Love



It's been quite a while since I joined photo memes on any of my blogs. So here are some random stuff about me:

The good things:

I love photography. But my heart is set on capturing things in black and white. 
I love macro photography, whether it be zooming in on food, toys, flowers, or bugs. 

The random thing:

I decided to randomly check for Monday memes that I could join and was glad to have found that there are still so many bloggers out there who enjoy doing this stuff.

The fun thing:

I'm back to writing and taking photos. I can't wait to share more!

My entry for:


Brightest Blessings!

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Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Yummy

Y for Yummy: A Post for ABC Wednesday

I've been cooking for almost 30 years now and thankfully, most of the dishes that come out of the kitchen have all been called yummy by those who have tried them. I may not be like the young home chefs that you probably have seen on Masterchef Junior, but at least no one yawned at the food that I place on the table. Oh, no one has yelled at me up to this point to tell me that the food I served is the yuckiest of all that they may have tasted. 

Yipee! I can actually make some edible meals! 

Brightest Blessings!

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Thursday, June 22, 2017

Parallel Horizons



Parallel defined by dictionary.com as 

extending in the same direction, equidistant at allpoints, and never converging or diverging:
and horizon is defined as

the line or circle that forms the apparent boundary between earth and sky.

As you may notice, there are similarities between the two. Separation, boundaries, lines that never meet. 

Yet when viewed from a certain angle, train tracks, the most common parallel lines that exist, your eyes perceive them to be merging and meeting with the horizon. Is it truly just an optical illusion, something that the mind concocts to make sense of the things that it sees? Is there a certain truth to it?

In reality, train tracks meet at certain points. These are the places where two tracks meet in order to let the train change its course. It may not be at the destination yet, but it does start a new journey. Same goes for the horizon. From afar, one can say that the sun kisses the sea as it sets. Another trick of the eye? Maybe. But, mountains kiss the skies lightly. Clouds caress the tops with the soft touches. They meet each other for but a brief moment, yet both change drastically. The clouds break and change its shape, the mountains are fed by the dew to make the trees grow while the earth around it shifts as water flows. 

And that is how relationships change us. Some people come into our lives like the fleeting clouds. No matter how brief they come in, they always leave a lasting mark. Then there are those who are like the train tracks, they will be with you until it's time to change tracks to go on a new adventure. Some, like the train tracks would remain at your side, running along with you until you reach your destination. 

At the end of the day, it's really up to you and how you view things. Will it be an unreachable horizon or will it be one that the mountain reaches to kiss? Would you be two separate rails on the tracks that never meet or would you look at it from a different perspective wherein at the end of the line, the two meet, side by side until the destination is reached. Together side by side, working together towards a common goal? 

Brightest Blessings!

Halie





Monday, June 19, 2017

Toy Photography in Black and White


I've been introduced to the world of toy photography October of last year when I stumbled upon the Facebook page of the Philippine Toy Photography Club (PTPC)

Since then, I started to collect toys of different shapes, sizes, and from different manufacturers as well. I even opened a second Instagram page called Toyscapes by Halie to showcase my toy photos. Why did I decide to dip my finger into this genre? In all honesty, the first reason that I had that time was I didn't have enough time to go out of the house to pursue my first love - street photography. But, as time passed, I realized that taking photos of toys is a whole different learning curb. It allowed me to tell a story using a single toy just by using my imagination, along with whatever I have that is available. 

For the shot above, I took it inside the house in the height of the afternoon. To get the desired spotlight effect, I made sure to place the toy at an area where only a sliver of light was present. I dialed up my exposure compensation to make sure that the surroundings would become darker. I then experimented with different angles of the toy until I got one which was satisfactory to me. In post processing, I still dialed the levels of the photo to make it a bit darker, then sharpened it. And there you have it, The Joker under the Spotlight.

Brightest Blessings!

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One Direction - Story of My Life (Boyce Avenue cover) on Apple & Spotify



I wasn't a fan of this band, but when I heard one of their covers, I immediately converted. And given the chance, I would love to be able to talk to these men. Just to pick their brain and would love to see how they work together.

For all the covers that they have done and also their originals, this one is my favorite. No, I am not a fan of One Direction, but this song hit me with a ton of emotions from these brothers. What can I say, I am very much a fangirl, I'm crushing on all three of them, most especially on Daniel, with Fabian coming in second, and last but definitely not the least, Alejandro. 

What I liked about this cover is the fact that all three of them sang the song. Their voices have different qualities to them, but when they come together, it's total harmony. 

Ugh, I'm usually not at a loss for words, but with this, I am. 

Brightest Blessings!

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Thursday, June 1, 2017

You've been GHOSTED!

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You have got a great thing going on with a member of the opposite sex; out on a couple of exclusive dates, enjoyed your time together and it seemed like there's a potential there to form a deeper, more meaningful bond. Then out of the blue, the person that seemed interested in you stopped answering your calls, texts, and seemed to have suddenly lost interest in to further any communication.

This sudden disappearing act is known as GHOSTING. A term used to describe people's experience when the person whom they like abruptly shifts gears and directions. It is when someone whom you think you're jiving with suddenly stops communicating with you without any explanations or goodbye. When this happens, you are left wondering about the next step to take. Will you move on? Accept the reality? or Will you hold on and wait?

The best way to deal with this form of emotional and physical rejection is by trying to remember these things:

1. Admit that you got hurt. It's okay to tell yourself that you got hurt when the good things were disrupted, especially when you thought that there was hope that the relationship can extend beyond friendship.

2. Don't put yourself down - sympathize with yourself. It's okay to feel the loss. It's normal.

3. Talk to someone. Don't keep the hurt to yourself. Go out with your friends. Tell them what happened and how you feel. Letting out the emotions is acknowledging them. Be angry, cry, yell if you must, just let it out.

4. Take care of yourself, physically, emotionally, mentally, and psychologically. Exercise, move around, get enough sleep, and eat healthy. These will help lower the production of stress hormones. 

5. Think positively. Try to look at the situation from a different angle. Maybe the person who ghosted you thought that disappearing will be good for you. It's difficult to do, but may be you can give the person the benefit of the doubt.

6. Let GO. You may have fallen, but the best thing that you can do for yourself is to get back up and start walking again. Just remember to do it on your own time, at your own pace. And, try not to date someone on a rebound. You don't want to get ghosted again. 



Based on the article found over at Psychology Today

Monday, April 10, 2017

The Narcissist

Image Credit to Louise Stanger (All About Interventions)


In Greek Mythology, Narcissus was a young man who was so pre-occupied with himself. He loved himself so much that he scorned many of those who loved him. He earned the ire of the Goddess of Retribution - Nemesis, who lured him to a pool where he stared at his reflection until his death. It is from his that the term Narcissist was gotten.

In this day and age of obsessing over one's image, posting selfies on Instagram, Facebook and other social media networks, how can we tell who the true narcissist is from those who either just have an inflated ego or plain attention seekers?

Here are a few tips gathered from Power of Positivity and BPD Central

1. A narcissist does not display empathy.

Empathy is defined by Psychology Today as being able to understand another's experience or feelings by putting one's self in the shoes of that person. Narcissists can often try to "fake" concern for others, only if these experiences will put them in a good light where they can be admired by others. However, they rarely do feel genuine concern for the person's pain or the pain that they inflict on others. 

2. They have an unrealistic sense of self-importance

These people think that they are so unique that others just can't seem to understand them or that it only takes a special kind of person to understand them, their needs, who they are, etc. They would also like to exaggerate things like their achievements, who they are, without any commensurate proof.

3. Expects favorable treatment from everyone they come across and would not hesitate to exploits others

These people tend to lash out at those who do not meet their demands or expectations. If you don't follow their rules, they get angry not unlike a toddler who has yet to learn that the world does not revolve around him or her.

Those who possess this personality also tend to use other people for their benefit. They often wield what ever power it is that they perceive to have in order to make people bend to their wishes. 

4. Preoccupation with Status Symbol, fantasies of success, and imagined sense of power

Their sense of fulfillment and sense of self worth is tied to these fantasies. 

5. Has a belief that they should be envied, that others are envious of them, and/or is envious of others tied to their incessant and constant need for admiration

Due to their feeling of superior over others, narcissists often view people who have admiration, respect, love, attention that they don't have as threats to their own status. This can be quite a jam for the object of the narcissist's object of envy.

They will try to surround themselves with people who are willing to shower them with attention no matter how false these are. And when things don't go their way, these people tend to show arrogance, haughty attitude and sometimes even unreasonable attitude/tantrums. 


Have you encountered people who exhibit such traits? If you have, may be it's high time for you to reconsider how to deal with them or better yet, get away from this one way relationship.

Haiku Samples

I have never had any formal training in writing poetry. However, I have always been interested in this form of writing and I have written dozens upon dozens since I started when I was in the fifth grade. As I got older, I also got to read more forms and now I am dipping my fingers into the pool of Haiku poetry. Here are some that I have written last April 5th.


Rooftops, gentle rain
Safe within mother's embrace
Newborn babe sleeps deep




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Still, deep blue waters
Consciousness seeps, eyes open
Warrior woman wakes



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Scorching dark evening
Angel's wings take final flight
Farewell friends she bade


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Breeze touch blades of grass
Outside children laugh and play
Vacation is here



Brightest Blessings!

Halie


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Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Why You Have Few Friends

Image source from HERE

No man is an island, that is the reality. However, for some people, it is not the quantity of the friends that they have which is important. What they focus on mainly is the quality of the relationship that they have with these people in their lives. 

So, why is it that some people seem to more picky when it comes to making friends? Is it because they are too intelligent or is it because of some other things? Here are a few reasons that we can reflect on when it comes to asking ourselves why our circle is smaller compared to others.

1. You say what's on your mind and you don't care much for fake small talk and conversations.

You don't conform to what and how others think. You form your own views and opinions about things, life, and other topics that interest you. You get contented in doing your own thing without any fear of missing out on the latest gossip or trend. 

2. You can easily spot bullshit and lies  

You avoid those who project fakery and a fake persona like they are afflicted with the plague. Also, you try not to get mixed up in all the drama associated with and to these fake personas.

3. You have no need to call attention to yourself in order to prove who you are

You know the kind of person that you are. You don't need to waste time explaining yourself to those who can't seem to get you. However, you mix easily with those who don't need any explanations, yet, in their own way, understand who you are. You prefer them because they don't get put off by your strong personality or presence because they too are secured with who they are. You also like to be with people who have goals and visions. These are the kind who would help you grow as an individual and whom you would help to grow and discover things as well.

4. You have finally come to recognize who your real friends are

These people may be only a handful, but these are the very same who has never and would never leave your side. They stand with you, support your decisions, and call you out if there's a real need to do so. The only new persons you would entertain would be those who show the same amount of respect that you accord to others and who deserve the same respect to be accorded to them.

5. You may be keeping to yourself a lot, talk less and listen more frequently

For these reasons, others may avoid being around you because though you don't speak a lot, you tend to observe what's going on, speak facts which others may not like nor accept. 

Having a few friends doesn't mean you're a genius or socially awkward. Sometimes, it just plainly states that you know how to choose the people whom you would trust and respect. You know your worth and you also recognize that you can bring more than cheap conversations to the table. However, when you find real friends, you don't hold back on supporting and encouraging them to shine. 

So, does it still bother you that you only have a very few trusted individuals that you keep in your circle? I hope not, because these are the people who would not leave you in your time of need. They understand you and have accepted you for who and what you are. 

Monday, March 13, 2017

Strung Along: How to tell if you are

Image Source Here

Don't be naive to think that only guys know how to lead women along. In reality, women can be far crueler when it comes to stringing men along. It happens to the best of people, don't worry about it. Some are just way to good at playing the game that it makes it difficult for you to tell whether she's really into you or she's just keeping your hopes up and making sure that she's got you in her back pocket whenever she needs someone to be at her beck and call.

How can you tell if she's just taking you out for a ride? Here are some tell-tale signs that you might be wrapped around her little finger.

1. She's playing the "Hard-To-Get" card really well. Okay, some women just really want to get to know the person courting her that's why she ain't gonna jump into a relationship with you the moment you profess your love for her. She will ask you to be patient with her and give her time to think things through. However, no matter what you do, she will never give you the one thing that you are asking for - COMMITMENT.

2. You can't make plans with her. You talk for hours on end, send text messages, e-mails and "communicate" on regular basis. However, once you mention any plans about going out or seeing each other, she will find ways and reasons to say no, or just plain tell you that she would need a "rain-check."

3. The conversations that you have seems to be superficial. Oh yes, she'll definitely tell you how her day went, how she feels for the day, her favorite stuff, food, drink, whether she's hungry, sad, sleepy, and some other emotions that you're not sure even exist. However, it does not extend beyond that. She wouldn't let you in on what her life really is. Do you know things about her childhood? Okay, may be not that far back just yet. But, do you know anything about her that extends outside of the ordinary things that could happen to anyone on a daily basis? Do you get the feeling that she doesn't want you to get to know her on an intimate level?

4. You don't feel any sense of security. Simply put, you don't know where to place yourself. She's sweet with you, she sends you messages that seem to be reserved for those who are in a relationship, yet, she'll call you a friend, especially when out in public.

5. She flirts, A LOT! You think you have something special going on between the two of you. You may even be sharing some meaningful, soulful, and even probably writing your stories in songs. However, she also shows the same towards her other male "friends."

6. Attention, she revels in it. She thrives in an environment where she is the center of attention, when gravity seems to be holding the attention of several men and keeping it close to her. If and when you start to wane, she will try to rope you in either by showing you affection or talking nasty about others. BUT, once you go back, she'll once again be the social butterfly, reveling in the attention of her other adoring fans.

These are just some of the things that you should watch out for when you think you're having a "connection" with a woman. Remember, there are so many other fishes in the ocean, you don't have to limit yourself to just one because you think that she's just really a catch. Interact with other people, expand your social network, go out, have fun! If you think that you're being taken out for a spin, you have the power to make it stop. Step on the freaking breaks and get out. Not cutting the strings will just make you feel so much worse. You too deserve better. 

Saturday, March 4, 2017

How Much Do Other People's Opinions of You Matter To You?

Image Credits Here

There are times that we feel that we have to say our piece, to voice out our opinions not just about situations but of others as well. However, there are also times that we fail to understand that while doing so, there will be people who have opinions and thoughts about us as well. 

People talk, that's only but natural. The one thing that we have to ask ourselves is how much do these opinions matter and why they affect us so much.

1. Do these opinions affect you? Human beings talk about stuff that catches their fancy either for good or bad reasons. It's only but natural that people talk about the things that they like and dislike, this includes discussion about other people. The question is, do you let those opinions get to you? Do you feel like you have to explain yourself? Remember this: YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERYBODY. Once you accept this, the lesser the impact these opinions will have on you.

2. Do you define your self worth based on what others say about you? In this day and age of social media and the internet, do you equate your sense of self based on how many likes your posts on Facebook gets? How many likes do your pictures have on Instagram? How many followers do you have? 

3. Do you try to be someone else? Do you pattern your likes and dislikes based on what's popular in your network of friends in order to be accepted by a clique? The sad thing here is that, well as cliche as it sounds, "what works for others may not be the best for you." Forging an identity based on what's popular just robs you of the chance to be yourself. It takes away that uniqueness that only you can offer. Yes, you may share some similarities with other people, but you have your own quirks, your own ways that leave things that you do with your own personal, one-of-a-kind stamp.

4. Do you have difficulties in making decisions for yourself without consulting others? This may be evidenced by the fact that you are losing trust in your own instincts, in your own abilities to make the right decisions for yourself. It's way different from being considerate of other people's feelings and how your decisions may affect them. If you become indecisive and often find yourself wanting or needing another person's input, it is best that you re-evaluate yourself. Ask yourself, am I making the decision based on what I think is right, on what is morally acceptable (based on my morals) and is it socially correct (meaning will it not be illegal, will you be jailed, etc). Remember that only you can make a decision about your life, you don't need others to tell what you to do. In the end, you can only point an accusing finger at them, however, it is you who will need to face the consequences of your actions.

5. Do you think that everything a person or a group of people say is all about you? News Flash! The world rotates on its axis 24 hours a day and travels on its orbit 365 days a year around the SUN not YOU. Hard to say it, but it's true - the WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU. It won't stop spinning just because you feel blue or it won't freeze on its axis just because you think that everyone else has their eyes laser focused on you.

So before you post another status saying anything about people whispering behind your back, better think again. Someone who truly doesn't give a fucking shit about what other people think will not even bother reacting to what they hear, see, and read. However, once you react even just the tiniest bit, then it means that you are affected and that other people's opinions of you matter that much in order for you to waste enough time to even say something stupid about it.

Monday, February 20, 2017

The Attention Seeker: Look At ME!

Image Source: HERE

What do these attention seekers really want and how do they get it?


A person who feels the need to have all eyes on them, via online message boards. An Attention Whore will write things about how their health or families health are in peril (ex. "Gangrene of a hangnail. Staph from paper cut" etc) in an attempt for sympathy.

Certain people bitch about every thing in their life. Always looking for pity around every corner. Having every ailment under the sun. Their ADHD, bi-polar, hormonal imbalances, and depression. There near fatal cat scratches that almost sever a limb ( not really sever, more like a really bad paper cut) their poor marriages, infidelities, addiction to drugs and alcohol, the fact that they suck at their jobs but need to blame their boss, co-worker, neighbor, cat, etc. for all their problems in life. You know the ones. We all post " awwe that's terrible" , or " OMG how horrible", and " keep your chin up, it will get better soon".
How would you know that the person that you're currently comforting is just someone asking for more attention in every possible way s/he can?

1. The person goes all out blatant. Instead of having a username that suggests of an alter-ego, a person seeking attention would just be forthright about their prowess in bed. You'll see usernames that go something like "@thebestlayintheworld" or "8inD!ck." Now, they aren't really being subtle, are they?

2. The person likes having pity-parties. S/He is just the saddest, most sick, laziest shit ass person in the entire planet. These people like posting either cryptic messages that would elicit response from other people or they would just keep saying things like "I'm feeling tired and lazy today" or "I can't decide." Simply put, these people would say or write down anything that would encourage other people to respond to their predicament. If no one says anything, they would definitely follow it up with something more dramatic. Most of the time, when it's a woman doing this, she will often flaunt her problems to the world - especially to men.  

3. If the first two don't work, this person would be the nicest one in the entire room. You'd notice that a person who falls under this category would be exceptionally nice to everyone. Putting his/her best foot forward in a way that would make you want to give him/her your wholehearted attention. She will get comfortable with you at lightning speeds. She'll normally present herself as someone who doesn't open up at once, but will make you feel that you are the only one who can relate to her, just because she opens up to you. Don't worry, it's a common manipulation technique, especially since most attention seekers can be quite charming and pretty in their own special way. 

4. It's not working still, then this person would be very temperamental and moody in their dealings with you. This person has a switch that s/he can flip on off in an instant. Nice at one end and mean in a snap of a finger. 

5. The next sign that you should be looking out for would be childishness. You'll  know this, as you would notice it that an attention seeker would most like exhibit characteristics that reeks of immaturity. She might go on saying that she is indecisive about a certain matter which would then compel you to ask her about it, give her your opinion, and even offer to help her resolve the situation. 

6. Another tell-tale sign of an attention seeker is someone who calls everyone a "best friend or a very good friend (something to those effect)." This would be evidenced by the fact that many men flock to her. These followers would feel like they have a "romantic connection" with her before finally realizing that they were just led on by this charming and manipulative person.

If you see these signs in a person that you're dealing with online or in real life, the best way to go about this is to try and avoid the attention seeker as much as possible. Put some distance between the two of you. You don't want to be sucked into something that would eventually drain you of energy both emotionally and physically. Look for real interactions and conversations that you would enjoy having because it is not a one way street, rather a meaningful one that would help you grow as a person.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Damsel in Distress Syndrome

Photo Credits HERE

According to Urban Dictionary, a damsel in distress is defined as:

Damsel syndrome is a common affliction amongst women, particularly those who grew up watching Disney movies or reading fairy tales. Damsel syndrome is thought to be caused by women's desire to be "traditionally" feminine in the interest of attracting a partner, though in serious cases Damsel Syndrome can lead to becoming an annoying, needy, self-victimizing, dumb bitch.


A female with Damsel Syndrome will often play off a partner's willingness to be the "white knight" to her "damsel in distress" by consistently becoming more and more demanding. If denied their way, people with serious cases of DS often resort to emotional manipulation or crying.

Before I go on any further, I would like to say that I am in no way attacking any gender in posting this observation. It is just something that I have noticed and would like to share in my space on the interwebs. 

How can you tell then if the person that you are attracted to has the so-called "Damsel in Distress" syndrome? Look for some of these signs and then decide if you still want to spend more time with her.

1. Her life is just SAD. Ask her how her day went and you might hear: "It was good, BUT..." And the next words that come out tumbling would be, "I feel sad because of..." or "I don't have the energy to do..." It seems like she has an endless list of the things that are wrong within her day. Why is she doing this? Because she needs you to comfort her all the time. 

2. While you feel good helping her, there will come a point that you might notice that she's relying on you just a little bit more. She can make herself appear undecided, unable to move further in the day without you pushing her a bit or lifting her spirits up. Just a tip, she may be more than capable of making decisions and handling things on her own. She's only pretending to be indecisive to gain more of your attention and your time.

3. She sucks out your energy. At first, saving her and being the knight in shining armour can be very appealing, however, as things and time pass you will notice that she siphons off your energy due to her constant need for assurance.

Just like any other people there who need "help" there's just no use trying to save this damsel, if she doesn't want to be saved, especially if she may have equated this false sense of "being rescued" to the feelings of love, being needed, and belonging.

Guys, you should well remember that no matter how well armed and armoured you think you are to help this girl, a time will come that a chink will form, which will eventually lead to cracks that may shatter your shell to pieces. When that happens, you might end up as the one who needs real saving. 

Friday, February 10, 2017

Valentine's Fuzz

Image Credits HERE

Let me start with this:

Define the word: ASSUMING

(from my personal sarcastic dictionary)
~It is defined as the person who thinks that those who choose not to celebrate this over-hyped, overrated occasion called Valentine's Day are: single, dateless, and/or bitter. 

Not to burst anyone's judgmental attitude and opinion. I ask this question: Do we all have to celebrate the day? I mean, my personal equation for it goes something like: Valentines Day = Traffic + Difficult to reserve in restaurants or Long waiting list for a table + Overpriced flowers, chocolates, and other gift items/2. Yes, I am unwilling to submit myself to the trouble of planning that one single day.

I am not anti-love or anti-valentine for that matter. I'm quite exactly the opposite. I'm all for celebrating love, though I prefer to do it differently.

I do not jump onto the "love" bandwagon because I have this belief that love shouldn't be shown only on one day. A day that is so commercial that it has lost its romanticized meaning. If you're married or are dating someone, I think you should give special treatment your spouse/partner not on a common day, but rather celebrate it more during your anniversary; a day that holds special meaning for both of you. If you're single and spend this love day with family, why wait for February to show how much you love them? Why not surprise them with a family day out and show them how much you appreciate them? 

If you truly love those who are around you, you don't have to wait for one single day out of the 365 days that a year has in order to make them see that they are special. Make EVERY.SINGLE.DAY count. It may sound morbid to some, but this is reality: We don't know when we are going to die, everyday that we are alive and breathing is a blessing. Don't wait for Valentine's Day to give flowers to your wife, girlfriend, mom, sister, or those special to you. You don't know if they will still be there for the next heart's day. Treat them right ALL THE TIME. Make them FEEL LOVED every time you're with them. Don't wait for a day that you'll regret that you waited for Valentine's Day so that you can give them a box of their favorite chocolate. For that matter, don't wait for any special occasion at all. Make every day Valentine's and celebrate the love that you have for those who are important to you 365 days a year. Nope, there's no need for expensive gifts, because the one special gift that everyone truly appreciates and deserves is TIME. Spend time with your loved ones. LISTEN.TALK.COMMUNICATE.RESPECT. These gifts are free to give and you always have them in your hands.

Happy (everyday) Valentine's Day!

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

No to Body Shaming

I have been hiding behind all the flab for who knows how long. Today, I would like to post this to say enough is enough.

For those who can see and read this, you can roast me all you like; make fun of me to your hearts' content. I don't care. 

Today, I say no to body shaming. I am doing my best not to slim down and get that perfect socially acceptable body. I am doing my best not for society to accept me, but to take care of my health; be accountable and lessen the risks that being overweight brings.

I have one very long nasty scar. I used to be ashamed of it. But to that, I say no more today. I realize that the scar left by my right salpingo-oophorectomy is a reminder that I've been through hell and back. I've conquered a health risk and now I am here to say that I was probably given another chance to life because I have something meaningful to do. That scar is my personal "battle wound" something that no one has the right to shame me for. I take the power from those who want to make me feel bad about the reminders of that ordeal. I claim the victory. And no one, NOT.ONE.SINGLE.PERSON can tell me that I should hide it and be ashamed of it because it is not aesthetically pleasing. All I have to say, to those, if it hadn't been for the doctors who treated me, the surgery that left that scar, I wouldn't be here writing all these thoughts down. I wouldn't be here living my life.

To those who feel like you need to change your body so that you can be pleasing to the eyes of those around you, I say, wake up. YOU.ARE.UNIQUELY.BEAUTIFUL. No one can make you feel bad about yourself if you don't let them do it. 

Be strong! Stand up! Love yourself. Accept your body. But, don't be afraid to make yourself better for your own good. 

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Diet and Discipline

Almost 4 years ago, I started a road to wellness.

Here's how I used to look like:


This photo was taken October 2013, almost 4 years ago.

I admit, there were times that I was derailed from my goal. I never got to reach my ideal weight of 135lbs.

It was difficult. It was definitely challenging.










Here I am now, 3 and a half years after this photo was taken:

February 01, 2017
Current weight: 150lbs

Target/Ideal weight: 135lbs

I still have a long way to go. I'm giving myself until before my birthday to lose at least 10 more pounds. Let's see if I can make it.



This time, I have to be more determined than ever. Exercise more discipline. And NO to FAD DIETS. I'm all for eating healthier options. Though, I do have cheat days every now and then.



Brightest Blessings!

Halie

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Men to Avoid

Photo Credits Here

I previously wrote a piece giving real men some tips regarding the kind of women they should try not to associate themselves with. In the spirit of fairness, of course, I decided to write some pointers for women on what kind of men you shouldn't be wasting your time on. 

Of course dating does not necessarily equate that you bring this guy home to mom so that he can ask your hand for marriage kinda thing. But, it's okay to look for these red flags that could be good indicators that this person is just a waste of effort to even try and get to know.

1. The Alcohol is my Best Mate Guy

One of the best indicators that there could be some issues when it comes to alcohol is when you see the guy drunk most if not all than time. This is the type of man who can't seem to face the issues that life has thrown at him when he's sober. Instead of having the proverbial balls to meet things with a clear mind, he much rather prefer to grab a bottle and pass out after. It would be difficult to get to know the person since he is hiding behind the bottle most of the time. 

Another type of guy who you have to stay away from would be the Split Personality When I'm Drunk kinda person. The difference between the first type and this person is that, this man does have times when he is sober. More often than not, he also has a very charming personality when he's not drunk, coupled with a guy-next-door smile. However, when alcohol gets in his system, he starts acting like the biggest JERK you've ever seen and met in your entire life. 

2. The Psych You Up Guy

First up under this type would be those who seem to like Exercising Control over your emotions and other things. You would notice that this guy likes to make you feel bad over anything and everything. Oftentimes, he doesn't have anything nice to say to you, instead he criticizes you for the smallest of things like your clothes, hair, or even just the pair of shoes you decided to wear to work. If you meet someone who seems like he doesn't have anything nice to say, I suggest RUN FOR THE HILLS and fast!

The sweet talker. Oh, this guy knows just what to say, when to say, and how to say things. And you may have fallen flat on your face for this guy even before you realize that he's still in a relationship but has "cooled-off" with another girl. Should you discover this, drop the guy. He's not worth it. Because most probably, he'll do the same exact thing to you when he finds another woman who would take him in. 

3. The Me, Myself, and I Guy

These are those who can't seem to stop spewing things about themselves during a date. Okay, it's not bad to talk about one's self, I mean, that's how you get to know a person, right? But, once it goes OVERBOARD, meaning, the guy does not even ask a single question about you the entire evening or does not even show interest in what you have to say, it's time to get up and leave. Why? Because this guy would not be able to be a good partner to you. It's going to be a one way street. 

4. Ambition Driven

The first kind is the man who does not have any at all. The man who doesn't seem to have any direction , does not know where to go, and how to get there. If he can't seem to take of himself, nor do something to improve his well-being, what makes you think that he can take care of you? Should you be unlucky to meet this kind of man, I suggest that you go out and look for someone.

Of course, we go to the other side of the curve to those guys who have NOTHING ELSE BUT AMBITION. We're talking about those who don't have any space in their lives for things outside of meetings, office, meetings, and more meetings. Balance is the key here. The man should know how to prioritize more important things. 

There are other things that would send red-flags and shivers down your spine. As a woman, it's good to have good intuition and knowing when to trust your gut. If you think that the man who's trying to get into your life is going to be a problem, take off your heels and run barefoot away from him. Maybe, just maybe, you just saved yourself from a man who just wants to get a finger on your zipper for a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am evening, and does not want a long lasting committed relationship.

Friday, January 27, 2017

Avoid These Women At All Costs!

Photo Credits Here



You're an attractive and single gentleman looking to date a woman and probably hoping to have a lasting relationship with her. Remember that if you see your worth as a person, you'd know that you should be going out with women who could help you be a better version of yourself and not make you feel as if you're the crappiest man alive. 

Here are some of the kinds of women who you should avoid dating at all costs no matter how attractive she may be to you.

1. The Social-Media-Is-My-Life kinda girl.


No, not those type of ladies who use their social media accounts to read the news, share and learn about their craft, or in plain English, those who know how to use these tools properly. I'm talking about those who HOG ATTENTION.

These are the women who have nothing to say but, "I'm feeling down, I need a hug today" or how about those who post IRRITATING SELFIES. These are the women who post their faces on Facebook more than a dozen times a day with captions ranging from "I woke up like this" (like what the fudge, right? Even some supermodels have admitted the fact that they don't wake up all dolled up) to "I'm sick. I wish someone can just take care of me." Most of these posts are attention seeking in nature. And it doesn't do well for a healthy individual to get mixed up with someone who has the self-esteem of a mushroom.

And don't forget those who have their phones glued to their hands all the time. Try to avoid dating women who would rather take photos of your food, post it on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc and ask you to like it, all the while you're together. You may want to date someone who can actually hold a conversation with you without having to hit the LIKE and COMMENT buttons on her phone.

2. The DRAMA QUEENS

It's quite easy to spot these types of women. Just look for the following signs and symptoms:

Poor Me. This woman is the type who seems to have all the bad luck in the world. Ask them how their day is going and they'll say: "I'm feeling blue" or "I'm so broken" or "I don't know what to do." Let me tell you, these type of women will eek out every bit of happiness that you have during the day. Emotionally, you'll feel drained as if your life and energy have been suck out of you every single time that you talk.

Women who SOW HATE to start drama. If you don't notice her, she'll be doing everything and anything in her power to make you look back at her. She'll be the one bashing others just to make herself look good in your eyes.

And don't forget those who are INSECURE from the top of their heads to the tip of their toes. These are the women who seem to find something wrong with themselves and are never contented with what they have.

3. The DEPENDENTS

You just met her and now you can't shake her off. She's so CLINGY that you feel like you've got poop stuck on the sole of your shoes which you can't seem to get out. These are the women who would make you feel that she needs you because she doesn't want to be left alone feeling single and unwanted.

How about those who are so JEALOUS of others that you can't seem to have a social life? Guys, if you just started dating this type of woman, I suggest that you slowly move away and then run, RUN FAST and FAR. You need to grow as a person and part of growing into a well rounded individual is interacting with all sorts of people, regardless of gender, shape, and size.

Another great example of this type would be the woman who can't TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for anything. If you think you met someone who can't get her act and life together without you fixing things for her, it's high time that you open the door and hightail it out of her life.

4. The Girl Who Needs to Have It All

First of this kind would be the obvious gold diggers. Buy me this, buy me that. Those who seem to care more about the kind of car that you drive and how many credit cards are in your wallet. If she wants a lavish lifestyle, then she should be able to provide for her own. She doesn't need to ask a man to shoulder any or all of her expenses.

Then there are those who seem to have never outgrown their childhood. These are those who don't necessarily throw tantrums, but they do seem to do anything and everything to get what they want. That INCLUDES EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL. A great example would be those who like to make people around them feel guilty that they didn't get what they want. And don't forget, some women who are into blackmailing may even threaten you with committing suicide or inflicting harm upon themselves. If you think you've met one and have actually been threatened by one, do the next best thing and contact a professional who can help the person.

We can't seem to shake this one point off - ATTENTION. If the girl that you like seems to know ALL the MEN in the room, better think twice.  Oh, I'm not talking about the woman who seems to know the right people to establish connections for professional purposes. I'm talking about the woman who gives off the a certain vibe that when she walks into the bar, men look at her differently because she revels in the attention being given to her.

5. Don't forget the FAKERS

One sure sign is when the woman keeps lying to you about ANYTHING. There's just no reason for you to put up with any crap that a woman throws at you, except of course when your self esteem is so low that you deserve all the shit being given to you.

A woman who DOESN'T HAVE A SENSE OF SELF. This woman seems to adopt and copy other people's attitude, habits, their ways, manners, and just about everything. A woman who does this is like a quilt made up of different bits and pieces of other people's lives. If she doesn't have a clue of who she is, then what does she have to offer to you? A fake identity? Someone who collected personality traits from others so that she present herself to be acceptable in the eyes of others?

You know who you are. You know what you have to offer. If you value yourself, then make sure that you go out with someone who deserves everything that you have to offer. And in return would make you feel that you can discover more of the world together. That you would grow together as a couple and as better individuals.

If after a few dates, she shows some signs of being the psycho bitch that you need to avoid, drop her and run away towards the other direction. 
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